In all honesty, there was some insecurity hiding waaaaaaay back in the back of my brain that left me wondering how I could possibly love another baby like I had/did/do love Sydney. Not finding out who I was going to be loving didn't help. With Sydney, I already loved her- and then she came and I just kept on loving her. I didn't know whether to love Simone or Oliver this time, so it felt different...which made me question how I was going to love and bond the same way. A good friend put it perfectly when she said, about her son; "Cooper came out, and I fell in love with a complete stranger."
Baam. Enter the abounding power of love. Silly me for ever having one second of worry over that. I'm downright smitten with Amoan Oyibia (as Sydney calls her) and I cannot imagine life without her. That ruffly brown hair that sticks straight up because I keep combing it back with my hand. Those chubby little cheeks that just scream for my lips to kiss, kiss, kiss them. That scream that goes from zero to sixty with NO warning leaves me smirking...ears hurting, but smirking. Those long skinny legs that love to stretch out and only like to reel in like a frog when I am changing a poopy diaper, thus leaving our heels poopy. The itty bitty peeks of smiles I am starting to witness that make me want to just freeze time...right then and there and soak it all up. The overwhelming sense of purpose and joy that comes when she's wide eyed and I start to hum a song and her eyes roll back into her head...like she was just waiting for my voice to send her to dream land.
I love you, Mone.
5 comments:
WOW What a bute. And a georgeous sister
Argh! I loved this post. That first picture is Syd all over again on the page of Syd's First Year Book with all the close ups of eyes, noses, and mouth shots that you took of Syd way back when. You don't need me for pictures -- these are beyond beautiful. But tell me who is that cheeky baby lying with Syd. I go away for a long weekend and the kid chunked on me. Can't wait to see her tomorrow!
Love reading this, Meg. Glad you are getting your confidence back, you can do this!
It is a weird feeling isn't it. Dani and I had the same conversation just before Jayden was born and then boom, you don't know how not to love them. No worries, you are a great mother and a great aunt so I don't think any kid is missing out on the love department ok. Love you
I wondered the same thing, you don't understand how you have more love for someone else, but our hearts are SO full of love and there is more than we even know what to do with!! I'm pretty sure that both your girls are getting tons of love from their wonderful mommy!! : )
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