Ramblings

Simone.  She is my squishly, cottage-cheesy, roly poly, cuddly lil' chunk. It's hard to remember that this little monkey is only 4 1/2 months old as she could easily pass for an 8 month old!  She's clocking in at 19 pounds and 27.5 inches.  That's 3.5 pounds and 1 inch longer than Sydney was at this age.  I can't believe I ever thought Syd was a big baby!!!  (Because she was- Simone is just showing me how much bigger she can be.)

I'm loving the chunk...the cuddle time is awesome as I have my hands full of baby and it's comfy instead of awkward.  In the same breath, it makes me feel like my baby is no longer a baby...toddler is more like it.  It's getting heavy toting around 19 pounds as she isn't super great at the hip-sit yet, but I'll deal.  Forget going to the gym for arm workouts...I get them at home!

We're losing all that sweet brown baby hair and I can't tell what color is replacing it.  That's cause it isn't growing at a fast enough pace for me to tell!  She wakes up happy, I usually find her lying awake and playing with her toes when I go to check on her in the morning.  She has the widest, full mouth smile of anyone I've seen and once that mouth is full of teeth- you'll see them all when she offers you one.  She is content to just be held, loves chewing on her toys and can grab/hold things so well.  She has absolutely no interest in rolling over or being on her tummy.  Randomly her favorite spot of all is on the bathroom counter looking up at the lights.  Many a times we've placed her there unable to console her and it's like a light switch turns on, removing the tears and replacing it with the above stated smiles.  She is a happy, easy baby and for this I am grateful.

Check out those thighs!!!

We had our 4-month checkup this week and I left annoyed that I did not spend more time shopping around for a pediatrician.  (Uh oh, I'm about to get on a soap box here.  I don't normally use my blog to vent, but indulge me today, please.)  She informed me that her "goal" was for babies to be sleeping through the night (10-12 hours) by 6 months old.  I'm happy that she has a goal for me and my baby.  Please, please read the sarcasm there.  I'm all for people having goals for their babies and having a plan to reach that goal however they feel comfortable, in whatever method works for their family.  But for my pediatrician to create a goal for my baby- when, excuse me...she isn't the one trying to fulfill that goal... is ridiculous to me.  I love how she doesn't factor in teething, a cold, or my attachment parenting style when she informs me that I am to put her down awake...and if I nurse her down, I should WAKE her up so she can put herself down.  "In the long run, she will benefit" she assured me.  I worried my new-Mommy head off with Sydney and her ability to "self soothe"...continually battling this fear with my desire to parent in a more attached way.  I felt guilty for nursing her down- for picking her up as soon as she cried...but I did it anyways, because that's was what was right for me.  And then when Simone came along I vowed I wouldn't do it again.  Wouldn't question every thing I was doing- wouldn't read the books that told me it was wrong...wouldn't worry over phases as I've learned they come and go and then come again.  So really- it's not only the pediatrician I'm annoyed with, it's myself.  I hate how I can falter so easily and not stand convicted from the get go.  I eventually get back to that conviction, but in the interim I doubt my reasons for what I'm doing, and I hate that! 

Enough of that.  I have entirely too many adorable Sydney things to note in this post, so I ought to get busy writing about things that make me smile.

Sydney.  Sweet sister, challenging two year old, and one hell of a funny kid.  I laugh daily, and that's important.  Important for them to hear, and just good for a Mommy's soul.  I love watching the wheels turn in her head as she thinks something through and I enjoy the challenge of having to explain something that I just "know" and have never had to think about explaining before.  I am amazed that she is familiarizing herself with the roads we frequently travel...consistently and correctly pointing out Daddy's work, the grocery store that we got a gum ball from, an ice cream shoppe, the library, Home Depot and others.  She tries her hardest to get left/right correct, but I still love that she still uses them in her vocabulary when explaining things to me.  For instance- we were driving in the right lane today and she said - "There are no cars on my left side!"  She meant right side, but what an observation.

She's a negotiator to no end, and while I cherish that quality, it drives me crazy.  She's no stranger to the time-out chair and has picked up a new habit.  I always ask the same question when retreiving her from timeout; "Sydney, why are you in time out?"  Lately she replies; "I cannot know."  This results in me telling her she needs more thinking time and to let me know when she has figured it out.  That results in an immediate confession of why she's there.  I love the circles we run in.

She is a creature of routine and thrives on it.  She loves knowing what's next, and I don't think a day goes by that she doesn't ask "After lunchtime it's time for a nap?"  Every day, same question.  Every day, same answer.  She's observant and studies things.  The other day she asked me why I didn't have a mole on the other side of my face.  See- there's one of those instances where you think- "Wow, I would have never thought something like that...but you did, because you're two and you are learning everything from scratch."

She's a tall girl, and we don't go to a park without another Mom saying to their child- "Look, honey- someone your age!" to which I reply- "How old is your son/daughter" and then they say FOUR.  It's a territorial, somewhat defensive shell I have developed having such a tall daughter.  It could be my imagination, but I really do think others wonder why my 'four year old' is still talking like a two year old, (was) still wearing diapers, etc.  I can't help but Mommy smile when I reply - "She's two" and shocked they reply - "Wow!  She's so independent and confident on the playground!"

Oh, and to top it all off- we're doing major under-doggies on the big girls swings. 

Have you ever been this happy?  You can almost hear the squeal just looking at the picture.